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it ,I discovered from my early childhood that it was the moments that You felt like You had totally lost all hope, that were the ground breaking moments in life.
Even in my stubborn, insatiably tenacious personality, it was the moments that You literally hit the wall, that cracked the code and opened up a door of opportunity.
Almost as if, self preservation comes to the rescue and says – Come on its time to walk away, throw the towel in and throw Your arms up in the air and say “I effing Surrender You ass hole” lol Well had to add that last bit on, because my Ego and pride have been known to rudely take over at times in my life.
In fact if anything I live to regret, its not what I perceived I lost, but in the times I had the last word as if to win and yet sometimes You win the war and lose the battle.
I would have simply been a perfect individual if only I did not have Ego to contend with, pride to deal with and an ambitious appetite for importance, recognition and other elements that serve me well on the upside, but are also my biggest down side.
Yes I was the child with the curl on my forehead, when I was good I was very very good but when I was bad I was horrid.
One of my greatest mentors Dr John Demartini said this is the Equilibrium Formula. Life is balanced we just do not see it.
The mind defaults to what we perceive is missing. And of course its true, You do not know what You have got until its gone.
When we sold our practice in clinic, I won a trip to the Bahama’s and we had a big lump sum of money so we jet -setted across the other side of the globe and set sail for the beautiful exotic island of the Bahama’s.
The first class trip had us over indulging in the good life. Upon our return reality struck. I had no clinic to bare my gifts to the many thousands of people I had served for many years. The dream of becoming an online Coach was soon fading into insignificance as I learned there were some more inner conflicts left within me I had to deal with, before I flew with the Eagles in the online space.
Yes in Clinic being a talented Hypnotherapist and Profound NLP Practitioner, attracted people, and their families and wads of referrals.
Online it was a whole different story. Suddenly You were among Coaches who did not have a Certification in change works to their name. Many of them knew how to make money.
The fact is that if they are making good money, they must be doing good deeds, otherwise it will eventually catch up.
Looking after People was my hearts desire.
Looking after my money was not!!!!
In fact I took money for granted, and it fled like a jealous lover in the night.
I had to repent of my guilt and carelessness around money, however before that was to be fully fanned into flames, I had to get my self worth right!
I am talking about the kind of self worth that brings about love for Yourself in the most astonishingly profound way.
I learned to be ok with my negative feelings. I also learned the art of laying in bed all day and writing or reading and simply doing what my body needed me to do.
This is true self love.
The only way I could do that sort of thing before is through clinical depression or a major flu.
Of course, not only did this impact my health, it impacts my energy, my vitality, my inspiration and availability for opportunity and downloads, and of course it opens up my bank account to money. Thank you Thank you Thank you!
Is it is my birth right to be rich, abundant, wealthy, and attract in fame and fortune, in the name of leaving a legacy and loving my family, loved ones and self enough to receive this blessing.
I am so grateful that my bank account plummeted to $36.00. It was not the first time in my life I had been around that track. However this time I was older, wiser, and I had grown into a wildly successful Coach. This time was the last time, I would ever devalue money, or my spiritual self worth again.
They say – Money does not buy happiness, I say nor does poverty, however money does welcome freedom.
I now believe it is more of a sin to be in poverty. Its a spiritual affliction on our soul not to be a good steward of money.
Its irresponsible not to take care of Your wealth.
If you are struggling never fear, the best of us have been here.
In fact many of the richest people in the world, were first generation Millionaires and Billionaires. Andrew Carnegie the great man who made steel grew up with a single Mother who could barely afford his education.
Napoleon Hill wrote about the greatest men of all time and discovered the traits of the wealthy. Most of these characteristics were derived from great values, virtues and good habits and rituals. However many of the values were born from an inner need to have something that You perceived to be massively missing.
Maybe that is where my Ego and Pride were developed. I did not feel important as a child for many reasons, even though I had beautiful parents.
I did not feel a sense of belonging when I went to school and that gave me my ability to become like others, in a desperate search of significance.
So as off track as I may be traditionally going, let me assure you that what got me back on track was the biggest moments of adversity where I hit the wall and there was no where else to go accept give up, surrender, accept, embrace, embody.
Yes I learned to be good at that! Many disappointments does that to one. I am thankful for my many failures and my innate feeling that there was something fundamentally wrong with me. That turned me into a high achiever. The only prerequisite is that I had to love what I was achieving.
Back to my recent Years when I sold our clinic and ended up so broke I could not afford the ham on the table at Christmas. In true manifested style, I bought ham with my last $36 to find a beloved family member had decided to open it up before Christmas and start eating it.
Now I never cry. Nup. Not a cryer. I learned to hold it in from a young age and I developed that strength or weakness, what ever you want to call it. But guess what? I cried like a baby. The world heard about it, that bloody ham!
That was 4 years ago now!
The question is how did my husband and I go from multiple 6 figures in clinic to $36.00 in our bank account?
It was the greatest blessing that could have every happened to us!
We had to hit the wall and felt a sense of helplessness, shame and total remorse before both my husband and I were to start to deeply caring about money.
Once more, poverty comes from a spirit of low self worth, so guilt will usually show up in abundance to keep You feeling like its a sin to want wealth.
I certainly fell into that trap.
What I discovered is that money comes from the gift of passion, purpose, gratitude and generosity. It will circulate among those who will keep money moving. If not it stagnates like a murky swamp that you cannot see the bottom for the mud.
Wealth, riches and fortune are more aligned with crystal clear waters that flow like an abundant stream with an infinite sense of return as it goes out so it comes in.
Its pristine, sparkling and as pure as water.
So where on earth did money being a sin come from?
It’s more a sin to not have money because one has not got much to give. I nearly did not have enough ham at Christmas.
When You value who You are and You create a mastery true to Your life that is what I call “Your Genius Zone”. Your self worth will rise and doors of opportunity will open and you can allow your greatest asset within You bring about the value You truly deserve.
There is no use having a ton of talent, if You do not value Yourself. I know this to be true. When you are gifted and your self worth is low, this leads to over giving and under receiving. That is not abundance. That is not even kindness, because how can you be kind to others, if You are so deprived?
How do I end this story?
Well I hit the wall, I got broke, I got back up, I embraced my afflictions and self sabotaging patterns, I learned a massive lesson by many people I over gave too, because when You give away to much for free, they do not value it.
Yes in the online space, I had to learn how to add value. How to demonstrate my authentic gift. Yes showing the world who You are and what You have to offer is a gift of free advertising on social. So therefore this becomes reciprocity. However, when it comes to the deliverable that were gifted to my soul to impart to my magnetically attracted admirers, I learned that the most highest value for both my client and myself was to give The White Glove of Transformation.
This is Boutique Style Service. It’s exclusive and it is Tailor made to each individual with a majestic style of unlocking the greatest life with the Master key I created.
Yep 14 Years of manufacturing and incubating the biggest baby I would birth, did not call for me to underestimate such a divine sacred service.
What is even better is the Master key I developed unlocks the 5 cornerstones to Your life being health, relationships, wealth, success and legacy!
These are the turn keys to Your life to allow you to know that Your toughest moments, can be Your greatest nuggets of gold.
I value myself today enough to say, I am truly supported in my business, family and adventure by all the right people.
I attract all the best people that surround me with dedicated mission, vision and purpose that support my service, so my family, my clients, my loved ones maybe richly rewarded by the blessing of my life and the legacy that is activated through my Genius Zone.